Everyone is so different. We all have different faces, different voices, fingerprints, eyes, nose, hair... We all have different tastes in music and style and movies and list goes on. Yet through all of that it can seem like we all get lost in a sea of faces, so to speak. Is everyone trying to find that place where they feel accepted? If so, that's not bad at all. But in finding that place where you feel accepted are you able to accept yourself?
You know what I like about me? I like that I'm me. I like that I have a sense of who I am. I like that I am able to rest well knowing that at the end of the day I accept me. It is very nice being comfortable inside my own skin. Sure, I sometimes feel the need to try and gain the approval of those around me. But I've learned over my few years that trying so hard to please others just so they like me is a fruitless effort. I want people to like me because they see me for who I am not because I've impressed them. Impressing someone is temporary but being real with someone is lasting. To be fair though, it's not easy being comfortable with yourself. To reach that place of contentment we have to see the flaws that are inside of us. We can't just think we're amazing, unflawed people, and then ignore the parts in our life that are not exactly "up to par". We have to be real with ourselves. If we can't be real with ourselves how can we be real to others?
The other day, while relaxing at home, one of my friends said a comment about someone's Facebook status he had seen. He said that it was sad and depressing and he seemed borderline angry that such a status was posted. That particular status was, "our eyes were warm when we first met, now they're frozen with regret" Upon hearing this status I was moved with emotions that lead to memories and experiences in my own personal life and immediately I disagreed with my friends' statement. I thought this status was beautiful. I thought that it told an amazing story of love and love lost and the impact that it had on the persons life. The words connected with me on a deeper level and I was able to see them in a different light than my friend. Once again, "everyone is so different". What one person can see as sad and depressing another person can see beauty. And if these two opposing sides were to come together they would naturally clash. Not because one view is wrong and the other right but because of the people holding those views. Those individual people have individual experiences that have shaped the way they look at life. Everyone has a different story. Everyone has a different set of values, experiences, and beliefs to bring to the table. We can't expect to just blend perfectly with everyone on every topic in life. That's not how it works. Seeing things differently isn't bad though. It's one of the parts of life that makes everything more enjoyable. How boring would it be if everyone had the same opinion on everything? Nothing original or creative can come from that. Our differences are what makes life interesting.
All of us have certain "themes" that effect everything in our lives. These themes effect our perspective, our decision making skills, our thoughtlife, I'll even go as far to say that it effects what we eat for breakfast in the morning IF we even eat breakfast in the morning. Whether we realize it or not every part of our lives is being guided by our own individual internal themes. I'll give two examples of how a theme works: I was in my theology class recently and we began to talk about the different themes that people have. One man raised his hand and said his theme in life and towards his faith was all about Redemption. He views every situation in life and in the Bible through the lens of Redemption. So, no matter what happens, he might have a mindset that says, "I see the situation before me and I know that it can be changed. I know that it can be redeemed." Here is the other example: Let's imagine a man who had the theme in his life of "Life sucks and then you die". Very negative, I would think. This man would go through life with this particular lens in front of his eyes. He could possibly deny true love, a promotion at work, or even his dreams coming true all because he sees them all as futile, fleeting, useless. He's just gonna die anyway, right?
Do you see the impact themes have on us? What are some of the themes that you have? What kind of lens are you looking through?
With these themes come Core Beliefs and Values, which also play a huge part on how we go through life. What is it exactly that you believe? Do you know? Have you really thought about it? In one of my earlier posts titled "What I Believe" I posted the statement of faith from my church. All of the statements there I have thought about while in church, my classes, at home, and I've come to a point where these things shape my life. I'm not saying you have to believe the same things as I do. This is not a blog for arguments sake. But I do challenge you to look inside yourself and find out what you believe and why you believe it. While you're looking you should probably find out what your Values are as well. What are the things that you are passionate about? What are the things in life you have an unwavering conviction on? One of the values that I hold is Respect. I believe that respecting a person is one of the highest honors you can give them. With that, however, I believe disrespecting someone is one of the most disgraceful things you can do to someone. Why do I have this value? Because I have learned that in order to receive respect we must give it first. But I do not respect people in order to gain something from them. I respect people because they matter, which leads into a Belief that I have: People matter and everyONE is important.
This is a little challenge to everyone to get a little introspective. Become an introvert for a day and learn something about yourself. Actually think about you. What makes you tick? What really "grinds your gears" and why? What is it that you believe and that you value? We'll never be able to understand other people if we can't even understand ourselves. I've learned to see the perspective that other people have because I know what perspective I have. I've done the journey, and still going too, of understanding myself. I have looked and still looking for new things inside of me to discover. It's like our mind and hearts are uncharted territories just waiting to be explored! How could we not go on such an adventure?
Alan Alda, an accomplished American director and screen writer, was quoted saying this "You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself."
Let go on the journey of understanding. Let's explore the deepest parts of who we are and discover the treasures inside.
